Going home to what and who matter more

Going home each year is never just about the flights back, road trip, gifts, or family gatherings. It’s a moment to breathe deeper, to let go of the weight I’ve been carrying. 

It’s a major shift in perspective, a reminder of what my heart has always known: that beyond the daily rush of Medan, there are things that matter more that I should take care more and ones that I've been neglecting.

The rhythm of office life is relentless, always convincing me that what I do is significant, or at the very least, it will be, someday. In many ways, I am grateful. I take comfort in knowing I’m supporting my husband as we build a life for our family. Medan, despite its noise and chaos, offers a future for my child that my hometown simply cannot.

But then, I go home twice a year. And home is different. It is slower, softer. It is where life feels less like a battle and more like a gentle flow. 

Ayah & Mak

 

Tak pernah bosan saya menceritakan dan menulis tentang Mak dan Ayah. Setiap kali memikirkan mereka, saya adalah Ainun yang sedang siap-siap berangkat sekolah, memasang tali sepatu dan melihat Ayah menghangatkan vespa tuanya. Asapnya memenuhi seluruh ruangan rumah kami yang mungil, membuat pedih mata. Lalu saya akan berdiri di depan, Ayah mengendarai vespa, adik saya Hafiz di tengah, dan Mak di belakang. Merasakan dinginnya pagi di pulau kecil yang panas di Kepulauan Riau. Memasuki kelas yang seringkali masih kosong, duduk di belakang, menunggu teman kelas satu per satu datang dengan rambut basah sehabis keramas dan bedak yang dipakai terburu-buru. 

Entah kenapa penggalan memori tersebut sangat jelas di kepala saya. Bukan hari istimewa. Pagi yang monoton, yang terjadi setiap Senin-Sabtu selama 3 tahun, dari saya kelas 3 hingga 6 SD. Selain itu, tak banyak yang saya ingat kecuali beberapa kejadian penting. Karena setelah lulus SD, saya merantau seorang diri hingga lulus kuliah. Ingatan saya tentang hidup bersama Mak dan Ayah hanya itu saja. Tiga tahun.

2190 days

 

My daughter just turned 6 last week. 

Six years. 

That's 2190 days and 52.560 hours of witnessing her growing up. 

Six years.

Six suddenly sounds like a big number.

Mengelola Keuangan Keluarga (Kecil): Sebuah Perspektif

Manajemen finansial adalah istilah yang masih terkesan mewah dan terdengar menakutkan bagi banyak orang. Bagi keluarga yang berpenghasilan pas-pasan, istilah ini mungkin tidak pernah terpikirkan. Apa sih yang mau dikelola? Uang bulanan saja sudah pas-pasan untuk makan dan keperluan primer, gimana ceritanya mau bahas manajemen finansial? 

Ramadhan, Glad to See You Again

Alhamdulillah... Praise Allah for another chance to be experiencing Ramadhan. Senang sekali rasanya masih bisa merasakan berada di dalam bulan mulia ini... Bulan di mana semua pahala ibadah dilipatgandakan, dan satu-satunya bulan di mana kita semua memiliki kesempatan mendapatkan kemuliaan Lailatul Qadr. 

Ramadhan kali ini terasa berbeda bagi saya. Selain perubahan status yang sudah berubah menjadi istri, saya juga sudah resmi menjadi mom to-be (dengan prediksi persalinan bulan Desember 2015). Dengan usia kandungan yang baru memasuki bulan ke-4 serta kondisi kesehatan saat ini, saya belum siap mengambil risiko menjalani puasa. Bagaimana bisa siap kalau ketika lapar saja tangan saya bisa sampai gemetaran? Jangan ditanya sedihnya perasaan saya, tapi Alhamdulillah muslimah yang sedang hamil diberi kemudahan dalam Islam. I seriously do not want to take any risk for my baby. Harapan saya... Semoga seiring dengan bertambahnya usia kehamilan, saya semakin kuat dan akhirnya bisa menjalani puasa (meskipun hanya beberapa hari) dalam bulan ini, terutama di 10 hari terakhir. Amiiiin ya Allah.... 

Home sweet home I come

Picture taken before going to Padang

The last time I went home was for my wedding day, 27th December 2014. Didn't feel that long ago, but having a husband whose heart attached to home, on last Thursday we decided to pack our bag and go to my hometown. 

We went to Padang to catch the car that will take us to Pintu Padang. which was scheduled at 17.00. Abang, how I call my husband, insisted on going to Padang earlier because we had to eat at his favorite Angkringan Jogja before leaving. Of course, I couldn't say no. It was food! Arrived at Padang just in time. One hour left before the car promised to pick us up. We ate in rush since the driver kept calling me asking if they could pick as soon as possible. We thought, oh okay. The sooner the better. So came the driver and to my village we went! Yaaay...

Except... That's not exactly what we thought would happen. 

Mengenang Papa

Pada akhirnya kita semua akan kembali kepada Sang Pencipta yang Maha Rahmah.

Seseorang yang baik akan pergi dengan cara yang baik, meninggalkan kesan yang positif dan nama yang akan selalu patut dikenang. 

Perkenalan saya dengan Papa (mertua) tidak berlangsung lama. Sebelum menikah, hanya 3 kali saya sempat berjumpa dan bercakap-cakap dengan beliau. Setelah menikah, hampir setiap hari saya ke rumah mertua bareng suami, tapi beliau adalah kepala sekolah dengan jadwal yang cukup padat. Namun setiap berjumpa, saya selalu disuguhkan wajah ceria dan gurauan yang membuat saya sulit berhenti tertawa. 

The Highlights of My Yesterday

Yesterday wasn't like just any other day. 

Sure, I woke up.

Cooked breakfast and lunch. 

Showered.

Went to work.

Worked.

Worked.

Worked.

Went home.

But not just that.

I felt nervous the whole day. Not because I was taking an exam. What? No... I didn't meet anybody famous. The reasons, the first one, is... Yesterday was my proposal day. The man I will soon marry came to my house with his family, asking for my hand. It was a traditional event. He has visited my house and met my parents early in September, and yesterday's event was the formal occassion. I wasn't there. Even if I was there, I'd only sit in my room and wait until everybody's gone :-p

Sunday Senses

Seeing: raining pouring down making the ground wet and creating its signature smell. I am still wishing one day somebody would make perfume out of this. Earth scent is the best smell ever. 

Drinking: a small glass of plain yogurt. Whenever in doubt, I try to shift my 'escape option' to healthy food/activity. I weigh almost 80 kg back when I was in college, thanks to my escape choice of bad junky food I always picked whenever I was in doubt, or bored, or hungry, or basically in any state of emotion. After graduation, I realized it was a death wish. Moving to Padang Panjang, alhamdulillah, has changed me a lot. I started (wanting to) eat clean and do exercise regularly. My interest in natural activities also finally found its root. Now I weigh 63 kg, and I hit the gym once in a while for some muscle. Everything is for my health, because I simply want to live longer with the people I love. 

Feeling: happy. I haven't been able to stop smiling for at least a month now. I feel so silly. Well, somebody is clearly responsible for this. :-p The thing about love... No matter how silly you feel, or how stupid even, you know and are fully aware you enjoy it. It's magical. It always is. I'm so looking forward to build a funny little life with a man who feels the same. 

Missing: home. I am longing for mom's silly jokes. My granny and grandpa arguing with each other. Neighbor's chicken, they're never taught how to differentiate toilet and other people's porch (or even house), two cool neighbor grannies who often visit my house and have a meal with me, my childhood friends, and everything. Mom is currently sick... Bell's palsy. It's been two weeks. Alhamdulillah she gets better, but hasn't fully recovered. I was told it could take a month or two. I feel helpless that I cannot take care of her in this condition. Calling her everyday I hope, insyallah, would help. 

Loving: everything. Bad and good things that are currently happening in my life. There are times when I wish my life would be different, but it usually occurred two or three seconds. In the end, I always, always feel super blessed with how my life has turned out up to this second, and millions of future seconds.  

Friday Senses

A little peek at our Friday. 

Waking up feeling lazy, realizing it is Friday (my day off).

I suddenly felt a huge need for a morning walk. 

The last time I did it was almost a month ago. 

It’s currently random rainy season here but this morning it didn't rain. 

Ding ding ding!! 

Eid Report

As I said in my previous post, I couldn’t wait for this year’s Eid… Well, Eid is indeed the best days in the whole year!! Let me count my blessings:

1. My big family gathers, stayed in my house. Some slept in bedroom, many slept in the living room. My house practically became the loudest house in that little town. 

2. We went to the river every day. We barbecued. My skin got darker. I got uglier because of the sunburn. Nevertheless, I was happy every single day. 

3. The whole villagers gathered for Ikan Larangan. It wasn’t as exciting as the last time (cause some villagers did not come) but for me, it never lost its fun. 

4. There was also an additional occasion where all the single males and females ate together for the last Ramadhan breakfast. It turned out inspire me to do something for my village.
5. Millions of little blessings I have each day. 

My Kind of Thanksgiving

Google Image

Westerns have Thanksgiving, Valentine, and Christmas at different days. We Easterns have all of those in one single occasion: Idul Fitri, and it's just around the corner!! I couldn't be more excited than I am right now. It is practically the only occasion I can and have to go back home. You bet it right if you conclude the last time I went home was in last year's Idul Fitri. Every 'perantau' goes home to celebrate Idul Fitri every year. Perantau is a Minang term referring to someone who goes out of the comfort of their hometown to further place to study or make a living. I am also a Perantau, always have been since I was not even 10 years old. 

To me, Idul Fitri is way bigger compared to those three occasions I mentioned (though I don't celebrate any of them at all). This is the day we truly apologize for what we did, the day we forgive everyone despite of what they've done. This is the day we love each other again, at the same time love ourselves enough to forgive and start new. This is the day we celebrate all the good things in life, thank Allah and everything He has been giving us unconditionally through our loved people. There could be no better day than Idul Fitri. 

As for you who wonder what we Muslims do during the day, I'm here pleased to explain.

Udara Segar dan Kuda Makan Sampah

Hari Senin kemarin dimulai dengan kegiatan lari pagi bersama adik-adik. Tujuan favorit kita adalah Lapangan Khatib Sulaiman, Bancah Laweh (atau sering disebut masyarakat setempat sebagai Lapangan Kuda). Selain pemandangan perbukitan yang bagus, lapangan adalah tempat favorit saya jogging karena bisa mengandalkannya sebagai ukuran kekuatan fisik saya. Misalnya, hari ini saya hanya bisa mengelilingi lapangan dua kali, minggu depan alhamdulillah bisa tiga kali, dst. Sunrise di sana juga breathtaking. 

Nine Things About Myself

1

I'm a Muslimah. I dress according to the Qur'an and have been comfortably dressing this way since I was small. I feel comfortable in it before I know the law.

2

I'm the only daughter and the eldest child in my family. I'm also very thankful for this because I don't really have any reason to spoil myself. I was born the first, means I hold the biggest responsibility. This way, I don't want to waste my life doing things that do not contribute much to my improvement. 

quality time with brothers

There are times when you hate your siblings to death, but there are more times when their laughter and good times could make you forget your problems. Yesterday, the later happened. It was not a big day and all, we just went swimming. We never really went anywhere together for the last three months, and yesterday was perfect. 

Setting house rules

I have been living with my two youngest brothers for the last 6 months. Now, as the eldest and only daughter, and the only woman who lives with them, I practically am a young mother. My daily routines: I wake up, pray, cook for breakfast, and sometimes take them to school. After work, again I cook for dinner, tell them to take a shower, pray, read Quran, etc. Just imagine a working young woman with two children, that’s pretty much me.